Working Well Under Pressure and Outside the Box

Reflections                                                                                 Catherine Meyers

Judging from the last time I wrote this column, I'd say straightening up hasn't been on my agenda. Well at least that's what one might imagine. On the contrary, having just moved in December, my last column in January was just the beginning of a very focused period of organization. Most of that time was spent organizing from the move and working hard to a deadline to finish a book. Both are mostly done now, so I can come out from the haze of post-move and final deadline drama.

Today, when I ought to be getting the house ready for a gathering later on, I instead am out of the house by 7:10, and on my way to yoga and then last minute shopping. This column has popped out as a result of my reflections on how much better I like working under pressure than I do dragging things out over a long period of time. We all have different modes that work best for us. My writing-work mode is to stay focused and stay in. A weekly trip out to get supplies and if I really push myself, time to head to a yoga class or time to meet a friend for a walk, a chat, or a cuppa. My preferred mode is to stick to my routine and avoid too many distractions.

This comes after years of dividing my time, energy, strength, and focus among a number of competing demands and obligations. This morning after yoga, I headed to the store to pick up the few items I need for the Ceviche I'm fixing for tonight, and then I went to my favorite place on the river, Coffee Girl. I allow myself time at Coffee Girl at least once a week, and treasure the time there as if it were a trip to the Left Bank of Paris. Today, I met the owner, Betsy, and talked with her about book event. Then I stood in line to order my cafe au lait, and got myself a few Coffee Girl Stickers...to go with the Coffee Girl mug, my Coffee Girl sweatshirts and t-shirts (I don't even like t-shirts, but theirs are v-necked and soft). Along with my time alone with my coffee, I do a crossword puzzle or two and a Sudoko. This morning, I completed the puzzle in no time at all--a very rewarding feeling, and also did the Sudoko.

Head down in the newspaper Sudoko, I became aware of someone standing right beside me, and I looked up to see my friend, Margaret. She'd walked over to connect with me, and we had a nice catch up talk, before she joined her family for coffee. One thing we share in common is a very introverted personality...one that requires scads of time to regenerate. We also share a common background in teaching, administration, and theology...we even studied at the same seminary though not at the same time. This common bond makes it easy for me to tell her about my dislike of public events, and desire to do some small personal book events instead. Her response, "You don't need to tell me. We introverts need to find other ways of doing things." We looked one another in the eye, and nothing more was needed to understand what that's like.

My many extrovert friends, often wonder whether I'm slipping into a depression or losing touch with reality, but honestly, I feel like this time of my career as a writer is some of the most precious and valuable time I've ever had. My time is my own to organize or squander as I see fit. My writing, which is usually involving more than one project, allows me to take advantage of all kinds of experiences which help feed my mind, my imagination, my soul, and my creative yen. I can do extrovert when the need arises, and can even enjoy it---for a while. Then I need to get to a quiet space, rest up, and refocus on what is waiting to unfold before me.

Today, I thought about this column, and as I write it I find it's not just about organizing but it's about how to zero in on our own modus operandi. What works for me? How has my life changed, and what are the new demands, requirements, or challenges? Another good friend shared with me that she's been under the weather, and is looking for more energy to get back up to par. She's one of the busiest and most outgoing people I know, so it surprised me to hear her say she wasn't up to her usual pace and energy level.  We each have different kinds of metabolism.  And by that I'm not just referring to the physical rhythms and baseline level of health. The metabolism I refer to is our emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual, and baseline needs as a human being.

The system known as bio-feedback so popular in the 70s and 80s, allowed us to get back in touch with our rhythms and patterns of behavior.  When hooked up to the machine or when following the rhythms of our biological patterns, we learned to check in with our natural rhythms. The highs and lows, the ups and downs, and the regularities and inconsistencies that have such an effect on our lives, even when we're not paying attention.

Life, as many of us have lived it, has been determined to a great degree by the demands of the choices we've made regarding family, work, life styles, and our own dreams and desires. We have also been shaped by our limitations. One size does not fit all. Even in the same job or family situation, we recognize that individuals have very different needs and desires. What does this have to do with organizing? It has to do with finding the style of getting things in order that best suits us. And it also requires that we keep in mind that our styles change over time.  What worked when i was working at three separate campuses, and flying up and down the Eastern Seaboard, does not work for my lifestyle as a writer.

Not only different strokes for different folks, but also different ways to cope and adjust depending on what we're doing and what our priorities, needs, and demand are now. Some people stick to the old way of doing something, simply because, get ready, "that's the way I've always done it."  I'm sure you recognize that tendency. Do you recognize it in anything that has become routine and stagnant lately though? Stop for a minute and think of the routines you've established over the last year or so. Think of what your usual way of heading into summer usually looks like, and see if some adjustment isn't needed.

Tonight I'm having a small gathering for a good friend whose last day of work is today. She's done with the organized, structured, institutionalized work that she's been doing for over her adult work life. Now she's getting ready to enter a more creative exploration of what her life is going to turn into now. It's a meaningful transition for her, and I wanted to help her celebrate this threshold time. So my focus today, with the exception of writing this column, is to be about creating some special foods, preparing a comfortable setting, and getting myself and my home ready for greeting friends. Not concerned about who shows up, but more about showing my friend a celebration of moving out of a safe, comfortable, predictable mode into uncharted territory.

What moves me out of the complacent parts of my lifestyle, are those friends and family members who touch my heart and make me feel the need to do more for them. To go outside my own self-containment and open the doors to letting in more energy, joy, and celebration. So the menu that has been brewing in my imagination all week, is set to come together. Shrimp, lime, and onion are marinating. Avocados are waiting to be turned into guacamole and the topping on Ceveche Catrine, and the baguette and tortillas are waiting to become quesadillas and Bruschetta, complete with basel from my garden. And the Prosecco toast complete with lavender and mint, are ready to become toasts to the past, joy in the present, and hopes and dreams for the future.

For years I held a dream group at my home. Monthly we would gather to talk about our dreams. We'd also eat and toast to one another. One member of the group, Tiffany, brought us a gift of beautiful pink etched champagne glasses. They are our dream glasses, and tonight we will use them to toast the future.

In our daily lives, we organize, straighten, and put our lives in order or shape them with the simple things we do. Ever so often, though, it's good to shake things up, pull out the best china and crystal, and pick a bouquet of flowers to brighten up the lives of those who matter in our lives. Today is such a day, and the pleasure of shaking up my routine and getting out of the comfort zone, is worth it. So worth it.  As my friend Sally said this morning as she held her hands up like a box in front of her, "Life is happening outside the box."  And we should have a little bit of that excitement, departure from the routine, and out of the ordinary events to punctuate our lives each day.

Do something out of the ordinary. Change your routine just a bit. Look at the life in front of you from a different vantage point, and shake things up just a bit this weekend. Stop trying so hard at the things that are taking forever. Step away, pick stuff up off the floor, and toss out what is not longer working. Clear some space in your life to live more fully, and stop blocking yourself with busy work that keeps you from enjoying the fresh air, the sudden rain storm, the rainbows, and the gap in the day created when things don't work out. Find pleasure in the moments you find yourself in line or waiting for something. Use the time you have in more creative ways, and touch someone you love with a kiss of time, a prayer sent off in their direction, or a moment of forgiveness for someone who's has trapped your energy.  Release, let go, and celebrate. The time is right.  Get the energy in your life, your routines, and your thinking moving again, in a fresh direction. Shake things up a bit, and enjoy living outside the box.